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Party season phone

28/12/08

What is the ideal phone to go with a little black dress for the party season? Of course stylewise it’s a Motorola Nevis, ooh, I mean Aura. It’s cool while Vertus are gauche. But what features should the party season phone have? Although the Aura is patently not about technology it could have a few useful features.

There is the “drunk on the train feature”. Using CellID because GPS doesn’t work in a clutch bag on Network South East, the phone would ring, very loudly, when I got near to my station. If, sorry, when, I fell asleep it would wake me.

It would also have mail merge in the text messaging. It’s a bit impersonal sending a text message to everyone in my phonebook to say Happy New Year. So want I want to do is automate my being impersonal. I want to be able to put wildcards in the text message which read the name so that the first line of my text could read “Hej Glen”. It would need to be smart enough to just take the first name “Hej Glen Wright” sounds too formal for a new year greeting. I’d have to make sure I was sober while doing it. One friend would get the message “Hej Brain”. He’d no doubt complain that his name isn’t Brian, ‘cos the full name is Brain Dead.

And for wanting to know what my squeeze has been up to at his work do I’d also want a lie detector like this one, what I like best is the description that says “You must disclose to subjects that they are being submitted to a lie detector test prior to any testing”. Yeah right. What you do is tell them after testing to see how they react.

But most of all I’d want to be able to enter a long message to be displayed on the screen when its locked. That would allow me to have something which said “If you find this phone please email me and I’ll give you a reward”. Something polite enough that the finder would return it, and that will need to be very special if I lost a $2,000 phone.

So if you’ve just got back to work with a post-Christmas malaise and are reading this in your backlog of email, and can make it happen, you’ve got a year in which to do it.

Cat Keynes publishes her thoughts on the mobile phone industry every Sunday at www.catkeynes.com you can read the column  the previous Friday by subscribing here.

Links

There is something quite special about being retro and up to date at the same time. A great viral video on You Tube is this one. You might want to wait until no-one is around before clicking on it at work.

Thanks to Jeff Bloom from Singtones, who liked the plug in this column last week so much there is a special offer for readers. If you log into www.singtones.com and use the code CK1208 this week he will give you four free tones to send to UK mobiles. Singtones uses the revoice technology that recording studios use to make your pathetic singing sound on key and in time. Register with the code this week and you can use a couple to practice with and keep a couple for Valentines day.

One device maker is more subject to city perceptions than any other: RIM. Because the people in the city use Blackberrys they know that early Bolds were flaky and Storms disappointing, but perception and fact are often very different which is why the Wall St has been surprised by RIM’s great figures.

If you enjoyed midnight mass this Christmas perhaps you should try the church a bit more often. They’ve discovered tech you know.

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